When I was about 8 another kid told me a scary story about a woman who lived in closets and attacked children. Every night for months I was afraid that “Mary” was in my closet…and no matter how many times my mom and dad opened the closet door to show me there was nothing inside, I was terrified and ended up in their bed at some point.

Our mind is powerful. Even when faced with facts or evidence to the contrary, our mind makes up powerful stories that we begin to believe.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves Matter

This shows up in all kinds of ways when you are trying to build a business or acquire new clients… we tell ourselves stories such as:

  • My fees/price are going to be too much for people
  • They didn’t call me back because they don’t want to move forward
  • “I’m terrible at —– fill in the blank – terrible at prospecting, terrible at explaining value, terrible at working through objections, terrible at organization”
  • I’m too small or young or inexperienced or old to have prospects take me seriously
  • The competition is just better at ______ so they always win

In reality the stories may be true…but often aren’t. They aren’t based on evidence – they’re based on mindset, fear, or anecdotal situations.

The problem with this mindset is that it will keep you from your goals and moving forward.

That mindset of self-limiting stories keeps you from taking the action needed to build your business or client base.

Overcoming a Self-Limiting Mindset

If you find yourself thinking or talking about these types of stories…how do you change the soundtrack?

You don’t have to be Stuart Smalley, from the old SNL skits, with daily mirror affirmations – though they do work.

Instead, if you are a more “practical” person – do this:

Identify 6 of your existing clients or customers. Then focus on one a day –

Make notes about them:

  • Why did they choose to work with you?
  • What have they told you they value about you?
  • What do you appreciate about that relationship?
  • How is your solution helping them solve a problem, capture an opportunity, or address a specific want or need?
  • Who was the competition when they made their decision?

After the 6-day assignment, assemble all the notes, look for the themes, pause and reflect on those people who find value in YOU and your solution.

Then transfer the key observations to an index card and keep it visible! Remind yourself often of those good things.

And yes, affirmations with those observations will help. If you don’t feel comfortable saying it out loud – at least repeat it in your head…

When You’re Confident, So Are Your Prospects

Shining the light on your mental monsters will push those dark thoughts away and allow your mind to focus on your value and worth. That confidence will show up in your interactions, tone of voice, and willingness to take the actions needed to grow.

When you are confident in what you offer, so are your prospects.

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