In this final installment of the series 3 Reasons You’re Not Converting like you should, we look at the third major reason behind a lack of conversion.

And the 3rd reason, following a misuse of time and a misuse of focus for the conversation, is a misuse of connection.

This is an especially timely topic because during a recent Ask Me Anything session after our Genuine Sales training, a group of advisors debated this very topic specific to converting from their first to their second prospect meeting.

The Reason You’re Not Converting: Your Misuse of Connection

During this lively group discussion, some of the advisors took the stance that…

“How can you even think about moving forward with prospects if you haven’t learned about their family and shared with your story with them of why you’re doing what you do and how excited you are to be able to help more people?”

While others in the group took the position that…

“I don’t think that matters. What they need to understand is that we have the expertise to help them and that we can tackle whatever situation they have and be able to get them to the other side as they desire.”

What’s interesting is that both sides are right. The connection that’s needed at the start of the process, and the conversation, with prospective clients can differ depending on that person and whether they’re analytical or they’re more emotion/relationship-based.

Please check out the series on Tribal Types to learn more about Tribes.

Offer Each Prospect the Opportunity to Connect the Way THEY Need

What matters is that you give each person the opportunity to connect in the way they want or need before getting into the agenda or business at hand.

How do we do that? How do we make sure that we are connecting?

Proper Preparation Promotes Powerful Performance

First, be prepared. Prepare for the conversation’s objective while knowing that you’re not going to get to the root of the information exchange that needs to happen without some sort of connection with that person.

How you connect with each prospect will vary. You may connect:

  • On a personal level or on a business level.
  • About community, industry, or world topics.
  • About their situation.
  • About a trigger event that just happened to them and you can empathize with that
    • Loss of a job
    • Excitement about a new career opportunity
    • New equity compensation
    • Their kids going off to college or entering another major stage of life.

What’s important is to be aware that the research and preparation ahead of time allows you the opportunity to make that first attempt at a connection.

It’s Not Small Talk; It’s Smart Talk

If that person wants to connect personally and talk socially (note, It’s Not Small Talk; It’s Smart Talk) allow them the time and space to do so. If you don’t, you’re not going to be able to move forward in a way that they trust you or feel you care.

Likewise, if somebody gives short answers to your attempts to make a personal connection, that’s their sign that the connection can be more agenda- and business-focused.

But you’re the one who must create this opportunity to connect. It’s up to you to give them that chance to show you what’s important to them.

Depending on how much time you have with them, relationship- or socially-oriented people may want to spend 75% of your first conversation at that stage of personal connection. That’s okay because they’re getting what they need and will increase your probability to a next step.

The Golden Rule Might Tarnish Your Ability to Connect

One advisor said:

Gosh I spend so much time in the connection stage and I didn’t realize that might be off putting to people who don’t need that time.” 

He realized that what he needed for connection versus what they needed for connection could be very different. He saw that his “do unto others as I like” approach was not serving him well and his conversion rate was very low.

You will form better connections with people by focusing on what they need, and find your conversion, especially from that first meeting to the next step, will increase with these better connections.

The Three Reasons are Fixable!

This is the last installment in this series on the 3 Reasons Why You’re Not Converting. Please check out the other installments if you’ve missed them to learn more about the other two reasons: Misuse of Time and Misuse of Focus.

These 3 reasons are fixable! You can edit your process and approach if you step back and look at how you are using your time, where you are focused during the conversation, and how you’re connecting with people before beginning the business at hand.

I can guarantee you if you if you take those misses and flip them into strengths you are going to convert it a much higher level than you currently are.


Financial Advisor sales training doesn’t have to focus on pushy tactics or high-pressure pitches. Genuine Sales teaches the fundamentals for sales success that allow you to be genuine, ethical, and successful!